Would you allow the nanny to disciple your kids?

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This is one thing that my mom allowed which I swore I'll never do when I have kids of my own. My son doesn't have a yaya (nanny) but if he has one, I will never let the yaya give any form of discipline to my son.

It's the parents responsibility to teach good manners and to discipline their kids. God gave them those kids, not to other parents, not to the yaya, so why give the big responsibility of disciplining their children to the hired help. Their upbringing is different from the parents, so their own views and ways with regards to discipline is probably different from the parents as well.

At the young age of 10, I questioned my mom's decision. I didn't talk to her about it though. I just didn't bother getting close to the yaya. That was probably my way of showing everyone that I don't agree with my mom giving the yaya free rein to discipline me and my sisters.

My sister C though was very close to her. I remember one time, we were having lunch, and my sister and the yaya were whispering and snickering while giving me sideway glances. "Don't you know that it's rude to do that in front of other people?", I angrily told them. I don't even remember anymore but I think my mom asked me to say sorry and leave the table.

I guess my mom was just so busy with work, she needed other people's help to teach us what is right or wrong. There were times when she also ask her sister to buy for her the things that we, her 5 daughters, need, like materials for my sisters project at one time. I understand that she needs to work but she could have just asked the yaya to inform her when we do something naughty and discipline us herself.

What about you, will you or do you allow your helpers to discipline your kids?

wrong discipline

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RJ's old bike, which we bought three years ago, was too small for him already. We went to Cartimar a few weeks back and he chose a blue bike. He's a good swimmer, he already joined a 5K run and he now loves to bike, I can't wait for his first triathlon!

 

 

It's not safe to go biking in our street so we went to Rizal Park two Sunday's ago for RJ to be able to try out his new bike. There were still a a lot of people, resting after a fun run, when we arrived. There was this group sorting out empty plastic bottles. They collected the bottles which the runners just threw on the park ground. How hard is it to find a trash can? You'd think that these runners are disciplined people, well most of them are not! I will make another post about this.

 

Back to my story. The sorters has a little boy with them. He's around 2-3 years old, I think, his height was my son's height when he was three. I was getting annoyed with this boy actually because whenever he see RJ, he'll bike going perpendicular to RJ's direction. RJ even fell off his bike one time because he was trying to avoid the boy. The parents never told the little boy to stop, even when they saw that he's causing danger to himself and my son.

 

Another boy arrived. The boy with the bike let the other boy use his bike. All of a sudden I saw the dad, of the boy with the bike, get one of his slippers and hit the boy (owner of the bike). "Why did you let him borrow?", this he said while he kept hitting the boy's behind. "He will just destroy your bike, don't ever let anyone borrow it again!"

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What kind of discipline was that? He was teaching his son to be greedy.

 

I'm afraid to even think what other "lessons in life" he teach this poor boy and his other kids. The government spends a lot of money teaching people in the poor area about family planning. These same people are also ignorant in teaching their children about good values and right conduct. The government should also educate these people about parenting.

how unconditional is your love?

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What is unconditional love? Is it loving someone without anything in return? Without anything at all? If that's what unconditioal love is for YOU, then you're just plain naive. You'll just end up getting hurt and disrespected. For me, unconditional love is loving someone "with some conditions".

                                                          raising-redheads

As a mom, I impose and expect my son to be obedient, respectful and to love me back unconditionally. I get hurt and I get mad at him whenever he does something that is not acceptable. But that doesn't mean that I love him less. And that doesn't mean that the love that I have for him is selfish love.

What is unconditional love for you?

math isn't hard

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Math has always been easy for RJ. I was pretty sure that finance would be on top of his career list in the future. But when they started doing long division in school, RJ started to not like Math. He doesn't want to do his homework the first day the teacher taught long division.

So we had a long talk that night. I noticed that he's just saying, "This lesson is hard" not because he finds it hard. Just the thought of doing "lots of steps" is enough to make him feel lazy to even start solving the equation. I advised him not to rush, in dividing, to avoid a wrong answer.

At the end of our long talk, he's smiling and loving math again.

parents, listen to your children

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Because you're the parent does not mean that you know everything. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't listen. Being a parent doesn't mean that you're the only person allowed to talk. You have to let your kids voice out their own opinions. It doesn't mean that your child is disrespecting you, except when it was said in a disrespecting way.

If you still think that you're right, put yourself outside of the situation. Only then will you be able to see the whole picture. Only then will you solve the problem.